Tasmania’s Great Escape

A New Future Beyond the Federation?

For far too long, Tasmania has been treated as Australia’s forgotten child; underfunded, under-defended, and underestimated. While Canberra pours billions into Sydney’s motorways (like the WestConnex project) and Melbourne’s mega-projects (such as the Suburban Rail Loop), Tasmania is left to scrape by on GST scraps, hoping mainland politicians remember we exist. As things stand, we risk becoming a forgotten backwater, struggling to maintain services without mainland subsidies.

But what if Tasmania decided enough was enough? What if we charted our own course in an uncertain world?

With the rise of global superpowers like China flexing their navy muscles off the coast of Bicheno, it’s time to ask:

Is the Australian Federation still the best deal for Tasmania?

If our defence is neglected and our economy sidelined, why should we remain loyal to Canberra?

Could we become the Singapore of the South, a dynamic island economy thriving on clean energy and smart policy?

It’s time to explore alternative futures.

Option 1: An Independent Tasmania—Republic or Principality?

The Tasmanian Republic does have a ring to it. We would make sure the our head of state can only be considered if they have received a “Tasmanian of the Year” award. This rules out most current politicians including Tammy, but does include champion axeman David Foster or climate scientist Jessica Melbourne-Thomas (she’d have to change her surname to remove links to the mainland).

But Tasmanians have never been overly keen on becoming a republic. So if we went solo, we’d probably have to keep King Charles as our Head of State, maintaining ties to the Commonwealth. Maybe we could create a new royal position for the spare. Prince Harry could be Harry, Prince of Tasmania. It would bring him back into the royal fold but maintain distance from William.

These details could be easily sorted out. As an independent Tasmania, we could expect :

• Our special economic zone to attract investment and high-tech industries.
• Our own trade deals with major partners like the EU, UK, and US; strong markets in which to sell our unique produce such as timber or crayfish.
• Develop our own defence strategy, possibly with backing from friendly nations like the UK or Japan. We give Japan salmon, they patrol our waters.
• Or perhaps declare neutrality like Ireland and hope we don’t get bothered by other countries. Particularly Australia.

Option 2: Joining New Zealand

Australia doesn’t appreciate us, but I bet New Zealand would. NZ treats its regions with far more respect and investment than Canberra does with Tasmania.

Tasmania, as a new autonomous region of New Zealand, could benefit from:

• A government more aligned with our values of sustainability, fairness, and regional support.
• Stronger economic integration with the NZ market.
• A modern defence strategy instead of being left vulnerable in Canberra’s military blind spot. People will think twice taking on NZ after they see the All Blacks perform a haka.

Would Kiwis welcome us? It’s an interesting question, but one thing is certain: we have more in common with New Zealand than we do with the Sydney elite.

Although we’d have to convert from AFL to Rugby Union, we may be able to save some money on the Hobart Stadium as it will require less playing surface.

Plus, we already share an affection for sheep and excellent wine—what more do you need in a national partnership?

Option 3: A Scandinavian Future—Tasmania Joins Denmark

If we’re going to seek a new partner, why not go straight to one of the happiest and most successful nations in the world—Denmark?

Denmark already governs overseas territories like Greenland and the Faroe Islands, so Tasmania could slot right in as the southernmost jewel of the Danish Kingdom. It could sell Greenland to Donald Trump and have a bit in the kitty to spend on us.

Under Denmark, Tasmania could enjoy:

• A world-class social democracy with free healthcare and higher wages.
• Massive investment in sustainable industries, technology, and infrastructure.
• A stronger role in international trade and diplomacy, rather than being Australia’s forgotten outpost.
• A decent international soccer team to support and great history of dark crime TV series.

Plus, Denmark’s Queen Mary is from Hobart—so Tasmania already has royal connections. Would Tasmanians learn Danish? Maybe not, but we already love Scandi-style living—cycling, clean energy, and good beer. And let’s be honest, if we have to choose a European overlord, we could do a lot worse than Denmark. Yes, I’m talking about you, France.

The Road Ahead

Of course, Canberra would never let us leave without a fight. That’s assuming they noticed. The Australian Constitution doesn’t allow states to secede—but then again, history is full of examples where the people peacefully forced change.

If Tasmania started seriously exploring these options, we might finally get what we deserve: a fairer deal and proper investment in our future.

If Canberra won’t listen, perhaps we should start making them nervous. After all, what’s stopping us from asking King Charles, New Zealand, or Denmark if they’d like to make us an offer?

At the very least, we can promise to dampen down independence rhetoric in return for better deal for the Freight Equalisation Scheme.