Jeremy Rockliff’s hot potatoes

This morning, the CommSec “State of the States” report was released. It shows that Tasmania is steady as she goes, but points out that lack of a working population increase hinders growth.

The Premier announced this with a by-line, “Great job Tassie”. Not exactly inspiring stuff. Didn’t really explain how we’re going to reduce the debt and grow the state’s finances.

So suspend your disbelief as I reimagine what how he could have reported it, instead of dodging the hot potatoes issues.

Greetings, my fellow Tasmanians,

Rocky here, your Premier.

The team and me just read the latest CommSec report highlighting Tasmania’s economic prowess. Grr! Go Tigers! Here’s what went down.

Apparently we’re tops in equipment spending and wage growth, which is encouraging, but as Michael always tells me, we must remain vigilant and not become complacent. I miss Michael’s wisdom at times likes these.

We need to stop getting overexcited as, as Guy Barnett pointed out to me, because its not exactly any of our doing. I thought that was unfair, but that’s Guy for you. He likes to speak his mind.

But as I pointed out to both Guy and Eric,

Tasmania’s resilience is evident, but we must address underlying issues such as low population growth and the urgent need for economic diversification.

Eric nodded, so I think he agrees with me. Guy took a slurp of tea from his cup, which anybody in the room could have heard.

I continued.

Some may say I should rethink the stadium and consider alternative investments that better reflect our economic priorities.

Roger gave me glancing look when I mentioned this. I also had to point out to Felix that we can’t rely on our fantastic potato crop to see us through this, although we do grow some gold up in the north-west.

So to truly unlock Tasmania’s economic potential, I told my colleagues,

We need to be bold and innovative.

Madeleine loved this.

Overhauling state taxation policies to attract businesses, eliminating payroll tax, and actively encouraging tech companies to establish themselves in Tasmania. Crucial steps toward becoming a hub for innovation and digital transformation.

Jacquie gave me one of her open mouthed stares, which I think means she also agrees. Guy took another loud sip of his tea.

Again, I’m now thinking a stadium shouldn’t be at the top of my agenda. I kept that quiet because last time I mentioned it, Eric started shaking. And as I pointed out to Felix, while our kennebecs are excellent excellent, they may not be enough to put Tasmania on the world map.

I thought now is the chance to really push my point.

We must invest in initiatives that attract digital jobs. This includes strengthening our digital infrastructure, fostering start-up ecosystems, and establishing strong partnerships between universities and industry to build a future-proof economy.

Jane clapped.

AFL is good, but let’s face it, it’s not a global sport.

Nick folded his arms.

And the chips that the world needs aren’t the ones grown in the soil.

Jo laughed. Felix gave me a puzzled look. Guy put his cup down on the table with a bang.

I carried on.

While current economic indicators are positive, we need to adopt bold, long-term strategies that will equip Tasmania for future challenges. Seizing opportunities, embracing innovation, and proactively shaping a future where Tasmania leads in economic prosperity are essential.

Perhaps that’s not lining the AFLs pockets or trying to get premium mark up on my spuds, but that’s what we need to do.

Jo then chipped in, reading from a speech she had prepared.

As we navigate the economic landscape, let’s embrace the Tasmanian spirit of innovation and challenge the status quo. By forging a path toward sustainable growth and opportunity for all, we can ensure Tasmania’s position as a leader in the digital economy, delivering tangible benefits to our communities.

I clapped. Jo beamed with pride. She knows I like sustainable growth, particularly when it comes to starchy vegetables.

I finished with,

Thank you for joining me on this journey toward a brighter economic future for Tasmania.

Then everyone quietly left the room, Guy and Eric looking at each other.

Outside, Dean tried to catch my attention with some new pictures of the stadium he’d just printed off, but I didn’t have time to talk. With everyone gone, its a good time to have an awkward conversation with the AFL without anyone listening in.

To be 100% clear, this is not what happened. And the Premier is not backing down around the stadium. More’s the pity.