Survivor: Tassie Council edition

Tasmania’s government is heralding “reform” by cutting councillors from 263 to 203.

Sixty down, pay rises up, and the same 27 fiefdoms still clogging the island. It’s Survivor: Council Edition, except every contestant still gets a corner office.

Tasmania doesn’t need 27 councils. We don’t even need 20. We could run the place with six.

Because this isn’t about the number of chairs in the chamber. Having 27 separate councils means we’re paying for 27 town halls, 27 mayors, and 27 sets of bureaucrats all running the same race in different lanes.

Each with its own CEO, HR team, IT system, and all for a state with fewer people than Newcastle.

The result? Massive duplication and zero cohesion. On big issues like housing, transport, and infrastructure, we’ve got a patchwork of rules and a dozen competing visions instead of one clear strategy.

It would be easy to pick larger councils based on population and geography. So, here’s my six to fix:

• North by North West: King Island to Cradle Mountain, with Penguin crowned capital to Burnie and Devonport from fighting over bragging rights. A perfect next for our current Premier, Jeremy Rockliff, to be crowned its King.
• Boags Country: Launceston as the northern powerhouse, stretching to Flinders Island and down past Campbell Town. Expect Mayor Matty Garwood to set up the Bridport Rock Festival.
• Wild West Tasmania: Queenstown as capital, covering the whole rugged west. Smallest in population, biggest in grit. Perfect for Dean Winter to make a comeback as council supremo, championing the Queenstown Oval for at least one of the Devils games each season.
• Eastern Seaboard: From Orford to St Helens, with Bicheno leading the charge. Surfboards optional. I’m think a Whish-Wilson as head honcho.
• The Beautiful South: Bruny Island married to the Huon. A honeymoon of good food, cider, and scenery. Meg Webb or Peter George would perfects fit to take charge. Maybe in a job share.
• Hobart City Limits: The capital city in its own bubble, and footing the bill for its own stadium. Mary Donaldson, Queen of Denmark gets my vote for first mayor. But if she’s not keen, then perhaps Andrew Wilkie.

You get my point. Six strong regional governments with real responsibilities on housing, transport and planning.

Instead we’ve still got 27 mini-parliaments bickering over bin nights.

So let’s stop pretending that cutting 60 councillors is “bold reform.” It’s window dressing. Tasmanians deserve a local government that works, at a fraction of the cost and with a whole lot more sense.